Cromdo Does Crime is the side quest for Cromdo Face.
After having successfully swindled a very tired Journalist, Cromdo has got the taste to pull them into more bad news. As is Cromdo's plan to become rich and famous through Bugsnax, he figured a massive legendary one would certainly speed up his progress - and he so happened to have 'gotten a tip' that Triffany holds the map to it.
He requires the Journalist to help bribe Triffany, who does not budge, thanks to Cromdo's lack of persuasion skills through the burden of being known. He decides there is no other option now than steal it from Triffany - which he sets up the reluctant Journalist to do so. After successfully obtaining the map, the Journalist and Cromdo set off to the Sizzlin' Sands and by the maps' instructions summon the Mothza Supreme.[1]
Triffany's own side quest takes her to all outer biomes, except for Sizzlin' Sands, which implies Cromdo "stole her quest" upon stealing her map.[2]Narratively, Bronica's journal would have made no mention of the area.
Psst. Hey, Pal. I got a business opportunity for ya! I got a tip that Triffany found some sorta treasure map while she was diggin' around. They say it'll lead to a huuuge Bugsnak! Imagine what a Snak that size is worth! I was thinkin' of takin' that map off her paws. That's where you come in. Get me a Bugsnak so delicious that Triffany would die for it, and we'll trade. Then we'll split the profits, fifty fifty-een!
Did you say fifty?
Did you say fifteen?
I clearly said fifty- -een.
Deal or No Deal!
As part of an ongoing scheme, Cromdo wants a Buffalocust so he can trade it to Triffany for a treasure map.
Objectives:
Catch a Buffalocust.
Report to Cromdo.
I have the Snak to trade.
Great work, Pal. Now hand it over, and watch me work!
*Cut to a sales act between Cromdo and the Journalist inside Triffany's research tent*
Oh man, I am STUFFED thanks
to my friend here. I couldn't eat another Snak! Guess I'll just throw away this delicious Buffalocust.
Did you say Buffalocust!?
Hold on now, Cromdo, I'd be happy to take it!
Take it!? I don't do charity, Triff.
*sighs* Waddya want for it?
Well, I happen to be in
the market for a treasure map-
I'm not lettin' a crook like you get ahold-a that map! You'll just swipe the Bugsnax and sell 'em off!
Ohnonono, wait-wait-wait-wait! I-I, k-,p-, eesh
Inside Man![]
Now what?
Ugh, business as usual. I try to play nice and fair, I get a door slammed in my face. Well, if Triffany thinks I'm a crook, I'll show her a crook! We're gonna steal that map! Meet me outside her hut. Midnight. No cops.
Inside Man!
Cromdo wants help stealing Triffany's map. I am probably in too deep.
Objectives: Steal Triffany's map.
*Cut to nighttime scheming with Cromdo behind Triffany's and Wambus's hut*
Alright, Pal, here's the plan. I'll keep watch and turn away any looky loos while you sneak upstairs all quiet-like and nab that map. Got it?
Why do I have to do this?
This seems like a crime.
Oh, uh-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, no-no-no, yeah-yeah, no, I'd-I'd do it myself... ...believe me, It's just, I got this, uh, this condition where I'm deathly allergic to, uh, to jail time. Yeah, don't sweat it, Pal, you'll do great.
*The Journalist snatches the map on the second floor and Wambus seems to be sleepwalking*
oh..whuzzat..? Cactus?
Yes, it's me, cactus.
Uh, good. Love you, Cactus... Prickly pear.
Go back to sleep, Wamby.
Okay...g'night Cactriffy..
*Return to Cromdo*
I got the goods.
Hohohohoho, nice job! Easy as pie!
Was this really necessary?
You're a blight on society.
Look, I'm not a bad guy. When I've got my Bugsnax, I'll pay Triffany back way more than this is worth. Anyway, we're gonna hafta wait a while for the heat to die down. Until then, z-z-z-zip! Lips zipped, got it?[3]
A Slice of Heaven![]
A Slice of Heaven!
Cromdo thinks the map will lead to a legendary Bugsnak (which will, of course, make him rich). I'm curious if the legend is true.
Objectives:
Meet Cromdo in Sizzlin' Sands!
Figure out how to summon Mothza Supreme.
Defeat Mothza Supreme.
Catch one Mothza Supreme. (1/1)
Feed one Mothza Supreme. (1/1)
Ready to start the search?
*Excitably giggling* Ready to get rich? Hahahahehehe! Hope you got sunglasses, pal, cuz we're headin' to the Sizzlin' Sands!
*Cut to Sizzlin' Sands*
Hoohh, I can smell it! This is gonna be the big one. My ticket outta this dump! After this, I won't have to work another day in sales for the rest of my life! I'm gonna use the cash to open a lil' karaoke bar where I can serve fancy drinks and sing as loud as I want. And I'll owe it all to Bugsnax! Oh and, uh, you, of course.
*Tag along to the Temple*
Hey, check it out, an old-timey casket. Wonder if there's treasure in there... Eh-eh, got it, got it, got it...don't got it. Eh, whatever. On to the REAL prize! This is the place. Looks like we gotta do somethin' to call the Bugsnak out. Should be a switch right about...tetetettehh...ah, here!
*Pedestal rises*
Whoa-oh, that is somethin' alright! But it looks like we still gotta blow this thing open. See if there's anything good n' explosive around here.
Come on, there's gotta be some boom around here! Check around that coffin or those, uh, those big statues!
*Mothza Supreme descends*
Ah-a-a-ah! There it is!! My piece of the pie! Come on down here, ya money angel!
*Mothza Supreme blows Cromdo and the Journalist away*
WAAAAAAAAH!
Mothza Supreme Boss Battle
*grumbling while buried in sand*
Heh! Peh, peh, you, feh! I'll be coughin' up sand for a week! But with those new Bugsnax, I can just buy new lungs! He he!
*Feed Cromdo the Mothza Supreme*
Nice work, Pal! Let's go home, and we'll count up the spoils.
Aftermath[]
Once Cromdo and the Journalist make it back to town, they do not get the chance to "count up the spoils" as Beffica intrudes, revealing she knew about the scheme and has the pics to prove it. Her demand is part of the loot. Threatening Cromdo by telling Wambus, Cromdo gives in and surrenders a piece of the pie.
Under the assumption Beffica is extorting both of them, Cromdo tells the Journalist to hand over a piece of theirs as well[4], but Beffica ensures them she would never tell on her bestie.[5] (Regardless the Journalist will not have their part of Mothza Supreme in their inventory nor could they digest Bugsnax due to their supposed allergy. It is unknown what happened to the remaining parts of Mothza Supreme following the end of the sidequest.)
Upon approaching Cromdo, the Journalists states that this is what he deserves. Cromdo, defeated, starts to explain himself, having traded a life of virtue for a life of crime, because eventually the result is the same, just as bad. But in a life of crime still gives him better changes at success.
Beffica, to what do I owe the dishonor?
Cut the grump, Cromdo. You're gonna give me a piece of that pie.
Pshh. And why would I do that?
Maybe you're feeling generous...Or...maybe you don't want Wambus to see all these pictures of you stealing Triffany's stuff.
You sneaky little grump! You gimme those pictures right now or I'll-
Oh, Wambus!~
Alright! Alright! Alright! Alright! Sh-Sh-Sh-Sheesh! *sighs* You win. Take 'em, Beff. (turns to the Journalist) Hand yours over, Pal.
Oh, no need! I'd never sell out my bestie, haha ;0)
(mocking voice)''Nhehh, I nEvEr Sell oUt MY BestiE'', tetetetetetete....[6]
This is your just desserts.
Desserts!? *sighs* You don't get it, Pal. It doesn't matter if I'm honest or dishonest. Either way, I lose out in the end. You think I LIKE bein' a scumbag? Huh? A grifter, a hustler? It's all miserable.
So why do it?
Because then I got some tiny, miniscule chance of livin' my dream.
So do something else.
You think I haven't tried? Huh!? I gave honest living enough chances.
But I wasn't born rich, and that means I can't afford to be happy. So unless you're gonna buy something, get lost, Pal.
References & Notes[]
↑The Journalist had met the Mothza Supreme at the very start of the game as the first Bugsnak they would witness, when it hit their boat and afterwards indirectly lured them off the cliff. The special relationship the Journalist has with it is not explored.
↑No note of Cromdo stealing Triffany's map and thus her visit to the missing outer Biome Sizzling Sands is made in either Cromdo's or Triffany's quest as side quests are all optional and do not affect oneanother. After having obtained the map, Triffany is 'written out of' the quest and has no additional dialogue pertaining the situation.
↑There is no "heat" as nobody mentions a missing map, most importantly Triffany.
↑There is no animation showing Cromdo handing Beffica anything. This combined with the emphasis on the line "hand YOURS over" implies that Cromdo tries to make the Journalist give up their piece so that Cromdo does not have to.
↑Within the files, there is a voiceline where Cromdo's mockingly repeats Beffica's line. The cutscene ends there and no animation suggests any line is missing.
↑Voice line not present in the game likely by mistake.
With the Journalist only receiving a 15% part, Beffica taking a slice and Cromdo already having eaten a slice, means Cromdo would still have about 50% of the pizza, yet considers his plan has failed as per usual. The Journalist speaks of "just desserts" yet Cromdo has no consequences other than less-than-expected supposed profit. The one who suffered the unjust, Triffany, remains as such. What happens with the rest of the pizza or what his plan even was upon success remains vague for the benefit of giving insight to Cromdo's warped way of thinking that seemingly is meant to be empathized with.
Cromdo Face.
After having successfully swindled a very tired Journalist, Cromdo has got the taste to pull them into more bad news. As is Cromdo's plan to become rich and famous through Bugsnax, he figured a massive legendary one would certainly speed up his progress - and he so happened to have 'gotten a tip' that Triffany holds the map to it.
You look like you're scheming...
